Defyne’s Poetry & Spoken Word

I CRY by Author Defyne

You look at me struggle and you laugh. Laugh because I have 3 children under the age of ten, 3 different last names, no father figure around:you laugh.

You shake your head in disgust. ‘That couldn’t be me’ says one ‘ugh she a hoe’ says the other. Then. You laugh.

You laugh. As I cry. From the inside. Because you have taken from me my respect without yet understanding my journey. You laugh. I cry. From the inside. In your court I’m already guilty.

You laugh. As I awake each day to feed kids,bathe kids,clothe kids,teach kids,set an example for my kids.I cry.from the inside. While you laugh.at my pain.fuck my tears. ‘That’s what she get for being so easy’ I hear you. But I’m not laughing.

You don’t know my journey. You don’t know that I fell in love 3 times too many.only to be decieved by a wedding ring and a promise never fulfilled

A victim: somehow found guilty and sentenced to  3 years of naïve and a year probation of gullable. dreams of fairytale endings and romance novels stripped from my heart.you laugh.I cry.

You like to see me bitter.angry.upset. ‘Not my life’ says one ‘Not my problem’ says the other. But it is. Cause one day your child will sit next to my child in school. Is.that.a tear?.and if my emotions cause me to raise them bitter and angry. It may rub off. Don’t cry.now my son has corrupted your daughter and my daughter your son..

Now its your child on the bus with the same sad love song.  But its not funny anymore.huh. Hey! Where’s your laugh! Laugh! Go ahead! Where’s your hoe daughter at?….

YOU.DON’T.KNOW.MY.JOURNEY! That I work twice as hard trying to smile through my tears. Trying to tell myself ‘hold on chile’ God has someone just for you’ I cry.you laugh.I cry.you laugh..its. not. fair!

That I am subjected to 95th percentile just by the outside appearance of that which you know nothing about! I cry.because I wanna take hold of your throat and squeeze with all of the pain I hold on the inside. I cry.you laugh.I smile. Cause you have no idea!

Tangled in life’s web of emotion.I cry.I smile.I push.I pull.I fall.I stand.I hate.I love.I’m.just.like.you. The next time you see someone bound by the shackles of life reach out a hand. Don’t laugh.please don’t laugh.for you never know their journey or why they cry!

Copywritten 2009

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